Come To Your Senses

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This morning I awoke with a song in my heart to share with you about loving yourself up, so I popped out of bed, put on my red, to get you out of your head! Click here to listen and sing along.

As I was going through my divorce many moons ago, my spirituality took a leap forward.  Why?  Because I was terrified with my decision to leave.  But I had to do it.

It all turned out amazingly, and on that long road I landed on a spiritual retreat…in India!  And no, it wasn’t an “Eat/Pray/Love” thing…I spent most of the time there as a quiet rageball.  If you knew my whole story, you’d know why.  Suffice it to say I had been in a very lonely, rejecting marriage.

But at the end of the three weeks of meditation, blessings, energy work, what opened up was my 2nd chakra.  Now for you non-spiritual types, that means the sexual center of the body!

Of course, I couldn’t do anything about that, I was on a celibate retreat, and I didn’t know what to do anyway…I was raised Catholic.  I came back to NYC, and got guided to a class on sexuality.  That was over seven years ago. And in this journey, I had to get in touch with my senses.  I mean, did you ever walk down a street or drive your car and not know how you got to your destination?  That was me…totally living in my head!  My senses were shut down.  It was time to wake them up!  This ride has been a slow one, often hilarious…because I had to learn to reweave my story, and how it served me.  I have since studied with the top teachers in the country.  In fact, one of my sisters has this journey has been Dr. Christiane Northrup.

Now I’m taking all this experience, wisdom and adventure on the road to share with you, alongside my dear friend and colleague, Irene Tomkinson.  She is not only a brilliant therapist/coach/author/presenter, but she has worked with thousands of women.  Like me, she is helping women step into their possibility.  And a huge one for women is their sexuality.  Yep.  That one.

When I recently did my solo show comedy about the topic, she said, “Let’s do a workshop together”. Titled Sexuality and Spirituality for Women, it was a hit.

Our next date is Saturday,  January 23rd, from 9:00 – 4:00 pm at Unity on the River in Amesbury, Massachusetts.  The price is reasonable, and we create a safe, fun environment for women to create a new story and step into their possibility.  Your clothes will stay on, but you may have to dance.   It’s me, so did you expect anything else?  If you’re in the area or want to take a road trip, come play with us!

For tickets and information, go to http://www.irenetomkinson.com/category/events.

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And meanwhile, feel free to spread the word!  Enjoy the video and I hope you sing to it, dance in front of your mirror and love yourself up.

‘Til I Broke Free

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Earlier this month I was away for 10 days in upstate New York, a family emergency in a nursing home.  I sat by my Dad’s bed for many hours, waiting to see if he was going to come back to this world or travel to the next.  He came back.

While there, I met many women…the caretakers, friends from his recovery world, doctors, then women on the return plane trip and in the text messages on my phone, and all of them looking for something…yearning for something, curious to ask me questions.  Because intuitively, they know I know.

It is something I live, that I have struggled to learn, and the queries come.  And I talked to them, and I answered them.  I gave them guidance.  The message is in my coaching, my keynote speaking, my writing and performance…in everything I do.  But they don’t know everything I do, they simply wanted more.  I piqued their curiosity.

But coming home to my quiet abode, I wasn’t quiet.  My mind spins.  I want to give them the ticket, the short cut to the very long road I have taken to get here.  The pondering continues, but at 11:00 tonight, this is what poured out of me in 10 minutes from these interactions, these inquiries:

The women are screaming for freedom
Freedom to live the life they were meant to live…
Freedom to speak their truth…and be heard
Freedom to laugh out loud, to be too BIG, to cry, to rage, to love
Freedom to be themselves, fully…
without censorship
without justifying
without pleasing anyone…
but themselves.

I meet them everywhere.  I hear their voices resonating in my heart, clamoring in my head.  I recognize them.  I was them.

‘Til I broke free.

I want the same for you.

Back On The Dance Floor Again

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I am not a person who usually gets stopped.  When I get a desire I go for it.  Sounds great, right?  Isn’t that fabulous?  Does that annoy you?  Did you stop reading yet?  Don’t.  Because I lied.

Well, actually, I didn’t lie.  I’m known as a truth teller, so lying is not really part of my vernacular.

The truth is this.  I do get a desire.  I go for it, especially if it’s a strong one and keeps showing up.  And I’ve lived out a lot of my desires, big time. But here is the real truth.  I do stop.  I step back, then forward.  Fear sets in or those old voices in my head whisper,  “Is this good enough?  Is it serving me or anyone else?  Why bother?  Who do you think you are?”  You know those voices.  Fill in the blank with the negative thoughts that you hurl at yourself.  And I did that with my blog.

Several months ago, I worked with an assistant who liked my writing, but thought I wasn’t “selling” enough.  After all, I’m a coach, a keynote speaker, a performance artist, and everything I do has one message…to inspire people to live their desires…to live the best life they can imagine, and to walk through the fear to get there.

But with her one opinion, I stopped writing.   I stopped sending you my stories, my encouragement to take those risks, to live the life you have imagined.  However, this week, I got nudged.  Two friends of mine, whom I respect deeply, told me to get back to writing my blog.  They loved it and wondered what happened.  A literary agent also told me she read them on my website and really enjoyed this theme of Dancing with Desire.  So I’m writing again.

Because it is a dance, this back and forward movement with desire.   It’s not something we are encouraged to do in this culture, to follow our bliss, to listen to that intuitive voice that is guiding us.

So it guided me this week, with the help of my dear friend Jen and that sacred seductress, Kitty Cavalier (and if you haven’t checked out her blog, you should)! Meanwhile, while the pen has been silent, my life has not.  Just so you know, I practice what I preach.  I’ve been taking actions.

I was a guest speaker at the Gratitude and Trust Summit in New York City, hosted by Grammy winner, Paul Williams.  In September, I performed my solo show in New England to sold out audiences.  Hot Mama Mahatma is a comedy about a woman emerging into her new life and her sexuality (that would be me).  I then co-led a workshop for women on Sexuality and Spirituality. I have my private coaching clients.  And yes, I am still pole dancing!

Now this sounds like a lot, I know. But trust me, to get here over my lifetime has taken many steps, often baby steps, one at a time, walking through so much fear I could write a book on it.  Okay…maybe some other time.  So I want to ask you, what baby steps are you taking toward your dreams?  I would love to hear.  Share them with me.  And we’ll keep dancing together!

Permission To Ride The Wave

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I want to talk to you peeps! It’s been awhile because I’ve been on a mission. And the mission is to give you PERMISSION!

DO YOU GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION?

From my recent Hay House webinar, titled “Dancing With Desire”, I was connected to hundreds of people around the world. I discussed the importance of your desires and dreams, about paying attention to them and living them.

As I’ve spoken to so many these past months, it became clear that people yearn to take action, whether it be in a relationship or career or their creativity, but they stop themselves. They are stuck.  Many of my clients have that old negative voice that says, “Who do you think you are?” or “You’re not good enough.”

I’ve told them, and I’m here to tell you: You ARE good enough.  Okay, you don’t believe me. “Fake it ‘til you make it.” What that phrase has meant to me is fake the confidence and take an action. It has helped me tremendously to take steps I never dared to imagine, and they’ve all turned out well. What a shock!

Too often, we get caught in the ocean of fear. It feels like the tidal wave will consume us, so we don’t even put our toe in the water. The way out is action. It may be one small action step, but action is the key. Then take a breath and congratulate yourself, and take the next step.

 xo,

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Go Big!

c72dfb60-7a06-467c-9bf0-3d4521842660Today, I’m sitting at my computer, relaxing in my coziest silk robe, sipping a peach and banana smoothie (it tastes like ice cream – delish!).

Some people don’t like to say goodbye to summer, but I love everything about it: the crisp cool breeze, the change in the leaves, and remembering the excitement of going back to school for the fun stuff:  a new wardrobe, a new bookbag, and especially new possibilities.

My team and I are working to #goBig here at my home office in NYC Glitzy’s Garrett (and yes, Glitzy is my nickname)!  We’re looking to serve you.

This Is Where You Come In.

After my successful debut at Hay House, I was inundated with emails from so many women.

This is what some of you said:

  • “I want to find my voice.”
  • “I am taking a dance class and I’m stuck.  Not just in the dance class.  I can’t move and and I can’t move in my life.”  (I can relate, see below)
  • “There’s a missing piece in my life and I can’t put my finger on it…”

It hit me that everyday these young women are waking up, taking showers, getting dressed, putting on a brave face, heading out and conquering the world.  But inside there was something eating at them.  These are top performing, financially successful women so what was going on?

I Know How It Feels To Be STUCK

A few years ago, I was in a bad spot.  To mix things up, I enrolled in a Latin dance class and I found I couldn’t move my hips.  Here I was, an actress/dancer who couldn’t dance.  I looked around at the other people in the room swinging around luxuriously and thought:  “I’ve got to do something about it.”

I dove in with the energy of an insatiable student.  I studied with the best personal development coaches, I worked on myself consistently: spiritually and sensually. I pored through every seminar, webinar and book I could get my hands on.  

I was determined to find out why I felt stuck and why I (a former dancer) couldn’t get my hips to move.

It took years, but I learned both to get my hips moving and my life moving.  I got to the root of the problem and now live a remarkable life.

My mission in life is to help all women I encounter to do the same thing:

Succeeding, feeling fulfilled and living a remarkable life.

So I want to hear from you

I’m working on some new material and I would love to hear how I can help you:

Write me an email and let me know what you think about these three questions:

What is on you mind?

Where do you feel stuck in your life?

What do you wish you could do but haven’t had the courage to do.

I read every email.

xo,
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Reinventing From The Inside Out

karen red dressDid you ever want to reinvent yourself?

I did but only after I was hit by a cosmic 2×4.

Change for me was filled with terror. That fear of the unknown was greater than the pain of the known. And I was in pain, in a deeply lonely, empty, rejecting marriage.

So what to do? You can either glide into change, or go kicking and screaming into it. Instead of trying to control the outcome, I had to let go. I surrendered. It was too big for me. And in that, I found the divine. Or rather, I went searching on my hands and knees. And the guidance came, in spades. Then, shockingly, I found change can be fun. Yes, it can enhance life. What a concept.

Have you wanted to explore your spirituality, your sensuality, your life purpose?

Usually this idea of reinvention is propelled by some huge discomfort or trauma. It may have been a divorce, a death, or exhaustion from one of those soul-draining jobs where you made a lot of money but were too tired to spend it!

But if you turn within, really take time to slow down, to get quiet, connect with that which is greater than you, you may start to find some answers.

And that has been the juice with my coaching clients. So many were in those soul-draining jobs and are stepping out, into their creativity…as writers, as speakers, as coaches, taking their voices out into the world in new and creative ways…making change as they go through change. That has been the gift of coaching.  Having become an expert at reinvention, I get to help them embrace it.

So here’s the query, is something poking at you…calling you to change, to reinvent, to emerge into your purpose and possibility?

xo,

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I Dare You To Dance!

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Hay House was astonished! Actually, so was I. Why would 868 people sign up for my debut webinar, “Dancing With Desire”? And then, why would 500 of them actually tune in (60%)? Hay House told me that probably only 10 – 20% would. It confounded the company. It confounded me.

Was it my charm, my charisma, my hip-hop haiku song which they had me put on You Tube? Nope. The listeners didn’t really know anything about me, but they tuned in anyway. Why?

In these weeks that have followed, I solved the mystery (or I like to think so:)!  In the wonderful coaching calls I’ve had with listeners from around the world, I asked them, “What drew you to listen?” Every one of them answered, “I used to dance.”

Some had done salsa, some swing. There were people who had done African dance, sacred dance, and belly dancing.   One had always wanted to try ballet. But here’s what caught me…NONE of them were dancing now and THEY ALL WANTED TO!!!

This metaphor of dancing with desire continues to intrigue me, not because of actual footwork but because how we dance around those desires.

This is why I coach, why I am fierce for people living joyful lives, living the lives they truly want to live.

So, continuing these conversations, I didn’t tell them to tap dance. As I explored with questions, it became clear that they had put their own desires aside to serve other people – parents, siblings, jobs, you name it. Although none of these factors were actually stopping them, they were stopping themselves.

Oye! I want to shake women up. Some men do this too, but with women, it’s an epidemic. Forget the flu, forget ebola, this codependency crap has got to go! This is what will kill your spirit faster than anything, denying those dreams that are burning inside.   Our light goes out and we become depressed, angry, or jealous. We want what they’re having. And we resent not having ours.

But we don’t give ourselves permission. We feel guilty or unworthy or not allowed.

So this week, I want you to get selfish. As you write your desire list, pick one thing you want to do.

Keep it simple. Choose a movie you want to go see. Don’t wait for somebody else, if they’re bogging you down. Do it alone and savor your freedom.

OR

Take a big leap: Book a vacation that you’ve wanted but felt too guilty.   Guilt is on its way out.

OR

Dare I say it…GO DANCING!!!

Drop me a line.  Tell me how it goes.

xo,

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bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at Hay House.

 

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A Spiritual Practice on a Pole?

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The other night I was emailing my tech guy about my website. We’re friendly and since we’re both doing the entrepreneurial thing from home, we know how isolating it can get. Also, because I’m a life coach who incorporates pleasure into my work, I often ask him what he’s doing for fun. And he answers, which is great, but he also asks me the same, so I have to be on my game.

This Thursday I answered vaguely, “I’m going dancing.” He then wrote,

“What kind of dancing?” Hah, he didn’t know it, but he was calling me out. Should I tell him? I don’t usually divulge this to men because of how they might perceive it.

Now, he knows that I teach women about living their desires, and how sensuality is related to it, but I tend to the keep the details under the radar. I mean, I’m a recovering Catholic! Good girls don’t talk about it, much less dance to it.  I had to respond to his direct question, so I took a breath and emailed back, “Pole dancing.” After including a brief explanation, I quickly hit, “Send.”

It bothered me all night. Would he judge me, wondering if it’s some kind of strip club? (It’s not.)  Or worse, would he think me some ridiculous older woman trying to get her sexy on?

I felt shame for having sent it. The next day he wrote a nice email asking about it. I then explained that it’s S Factor, a two hour pole dancing class & workout, created by Sheila Kelley (pictured above).  It is taught by women, for women, to help us fall in love with our bodies…old/young, tall/short, thin/fat…doesn’t matter…to love our sensuality and dance it. And self-love? That’s what it’s all about, ladies…all of it.

As I contemplated my shame, here’s the real issue: it wasn’t about the hot, younger tech guy: It was fear of being judged, of being humiliated. One of my great spiritual teachers said this is one of the greatest fears humans have. It prevents us from stepping out, speaking our truth, being our most authentic selves, and this is where desire leads us…to our most authentic self.

Scary stuff, that.

Since my Hay House webinar about “Dancing With Desire”, I’ve heard this from so many women. They have shame about voicing their desires, even writing them down, as if we’re not allowed to have them…and forget it if they’re sexy!

Desires are sent to us by something higher than ourselves. Frequently, they are rooted in the body. So, take out that journal. Do not censor. Write them down. Feel into them…which ones make you feel good? This is where the guidance begins. Then, who knows?

You may even join me on the pole!

 

xo,

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bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 Let’s connect:

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Whose Life Are You Living?

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I recently had a conversation that struck me profoundly.  It was a coaching client who tuned into my recent Hay House webinar.

She had been out of a job for months.  She was frustrated, angry…understandably so.  She’d been knocking on doors, making contacts, trying to get tech work that she’d been doing for years.  It was underpaid.  It was long hours.  It was frustrating work.  But it was what she knew.

As I asked specific questions, she went deeper.  I inquired if she had started her desire list, which was the whole premise of my webinar and workbook.

What did her soul crave…not her mind, not just her pocketbook, but her soul?  Although she had downloaded the workbook, she replied, “No, I haven’t written anything.” I asked, “Why?”  She said she felt too guilty to write her desires, too guilty to tap into her own soul to see what was really there, to find out what it was trying to tell her.

We worked through some of this resistance.  Then I said, “Tell me what you do for pleasure, for enjoyment.”  It took a minute because she did very little self-care, but then her energy lightened and she responded, “I love hiking through the hills.”

I nudged a little more.  “So putting the money question aside, if you could write down the most fun, pleasurable job in the world, what would it be?”

Before she could even think, she burst out, “Park Ranger.  I would be out in nature, outdoors, and since I like to talk with people and guide them, I could share the rules, give information.”

The idea excited her. It took an hour to get to this, but it became apparent that all her work had been indoors – working first in malls and stores, then technical work in media, when her heart and soul wanted to be out in nature.

This was one conversation.  I gave her tools and techniques to help her continue to step into possibility rather than fear.

This is what can happen when we allow ourselves to want what we want.  Her entire being wants to be in nature, not stuck in some building or behind a computer screen.

The universe is speaking to her.  It is speaking to you.  Our desires are sent as divine guidance.  It is time to listen.  Are you? 

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 Let’s connect:

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Do You Have Two Left Feet With Your Desires?

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I have been so inspired by the people who have contacted me after my Hay House webinar, “Dancing With Desire”…so many wonderful new clients, so much desire circling around out there…like standing on the edge of a dance floor waiting to dance.

But with this circling, I am itching to make this invite,

And the itch is not from a mosquito bite.

It’s from YOU!  I don’t want you to put your dreams on hold anymore.  I don’t want you standing on the edge of the dance floor.  I want you out on the floor dancing those desires under the disco ball!  And here’s how.  With dreams, like dancing, you take it one step at a time, one foot in front of the other.

At first it feels awkward.  You feel like you have two left feet.  You want to run back to your wallflower position on the sidelines (trust me I have known that one).

But the more you step out, the better you get and then you make it happen (I’ve known that one too)! Then you’re Beyonce or JLo, or if you prefer old school – Ginger Rogers with Fred Astaire.  And I can guide you to do that.  No, I am not going to take you tap dancing or swing dancing (although I could…I do both :).

I’m going to guide you to take that one step, then the next into your dreams.

What have you got to lose?  Your fear.

What have you got to gain?  Passion to live your life fully. 

So, come dance with me.  Sign up for your free 30 minute coaching consult.  Then share this offer with a friend who needs this as much as you do.  It’ll be fun, and I won’t even step on your toes.

 

xo,

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bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 Let’s connect:

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