Post-Desire Hangover

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And I don’t even drink! 🙂

A few weeks ago, as you probably know, I had a HUGE desire fulfilled. I’ve wanted to work with Hay House for a number of years and through a series of very synchronistic events, it happened! On Thursday, July 24th, I did my first webinar with them. It was a HIT! You may have even been on that call. Hundreds of people signed up. Hay House was especially impressed. Besides their praise, “GREAT show”, they are now using it a model for all their authors! Not bad for my debut with them, right?

Of course, there is always a boatload of work to do as pre-show prep – writing and conceptualizing a one hour talk, composing the opening song. Following that were the blogs, tweets, facebook posts. etc. Then there is my tech team, because without my tech team I am writing for an audience of one…ME! Yes, I can tweet, I sort of understand Facebook, a bit, kind of, maybe…which means there is probably a much more time efficient way to do all of this. When you add Mailchimp, email lists and getting it on my website, posting the song on You Tube  (per a request from Hay House), well then, I am lost in a morass of mess known as tech! The day after the show, my techie was winging her way to a vacay in California and I was left tech-less.

That’s no problem, except all the online marketing people say, “you’re on a roll, follow those fans. “ Actually, the fans followed me, with the offers I made on the call, so I’ve had many wonderful chats with them. But tech wise, the universe clearly put on the brakes. So, I decided to take the hint and take my own mini vacay…I flew to Buffalo to bask in the warmth of my family. Okay, no Buffalo jokes here. It is actually lovely in summer! I traveled to the bucolic burbs of Connecticut for an idyllic afternoon with a friend. I went kayaking on the Hudson River, and was treated to a Broadway show. My tech-less time was not trivial!

Now that my techie is back, so am I. Since so many more folks have asked, I invite you to experience my free webinar and workbook. Here’s the link. After working with it, tell me what you liked and learned – 3 things you took away and an action step you’ve taken in the direction of your desires. Then I will extend the offer I made on the webinar. You’ll just have to tune in to find out what it is.

The Time Has Come….

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 PLACE THIS IN YOUR CALENDAR !

3:00 pm EST, 12:00 pm PST

Dancing with Desire Free Hay House Webinar with Karen Fitzgerald.

Thursday, July 24th, 2014

 

What do you do when a BIG desire that you’ve held for years, finally comes into reality?

Do you jump for joy?  YES.

Gratitude?  Absolutely!

Do you call your friends and share the good news?  YES!

And then what?  You PANIC!!

If you’re like me, you go into total anxiety, questioning every thought you ever had about this.  You may ask, “Why did I have this desire in the first place?  Was I nuts?”

Then you buy yourself a pound of chocolate, or in my case, because I pretend it’s healthier, I make a boatload of organic popcorn with butter and I scarf it down while watching an old tv re-run that makes me laugh.

And then, after all the negative self-talk and stuffing myself with popcorn, I get to work!

What desire has caused this feeding frenzy?  I’ve wanted to work with Hay House for the past several years, in some capacity.  After many miraculous connections, it’s happened!  I am doing a webinar through them on this Thursday, July 24th.  Titled “Dancing With Desire”, I talk about this very topic.

I have blogged, tweeted, facebooked (is that a word?), talked it up.  I even wrote a song related to it, and at their suggestion, posted it on You Tube!  You can find it here. 

And to their evident amazement, 810 people have thus far signed up for it!  Now, THAT’S panic!

But the point of deep desire?  It’s to guide us on the journey, to weave the personal tapestry of our lives.  It’s not a magic pill, it doesn’t even necessarily make your life easier but may challenge you to live bigger. Would you rather dance with desire and dance with the unknown, which can be miraculous or heartbreaking or both?  Or would you rather live a lifetime frustrated because you settled?  It forces you to live on the edge of your comfort zone and go beyond.  You know my choice.  Come join me this Thursday, July 24th to dance the edge with me.

 

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 

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How A Desire Unfolds

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She picked it off the shelf at Barnes & Noble, tossed to me and said, “Read this one.”

Given that Carrie was my best friend and a rockin’ spiritual counselor, I bought the book.  But did I read it?  Nah.  I was reading much more complex spiritual matter, like “Seat of the Soul”.  This new one looked too simplistic for my advanced mind.

A few months later, though, with a metaphysical headache from this complex matter, I picked up the “simple” book.  However, I had been deceived.  It was straightforward, but definitely not simple.  And it became the most helpful book I have ever owned.  “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay carried me through my divorce, calmed my anxiety, gave me a new framework for living in a whole new way.  And for Louise at age 60, the book propelled her to create Hay House, which is not only the largest spiritual publishing company, but also has an international audience for it’s radio and webinar programs.

She became my heroine, and I had a strong desire to be somehow connected to that work, that company, but how?  Ah, in the land of desire, we have to learn to leave the “how” up to the universe.  Are you ready?  Here’s how a desire unfolds:

2009/2010 – after my spiritual trip to India (which got rather hilarious…), I wrote a solo show comedy about it, “Hot Mama Mahatma” which had a few brief but very successful productions in NYC (more to come :).

2011 – I express to women in my sexy, spiritual empowerment group that I would love to use the show to work with Hay House.

Spring, 2012 – After seeing Oprah & Chopra (yes, Deepak) live at Radio City, I was emboldened to contact a high level acquaintance connected to Hay House…could she forward my solo show video to them?  First she insisted on viewing it.  She did.  She loved it.  She gave me a testimonial.  She then forwarded it to three top people at the company.  Woohoo…gratitude….We heard nothing.  Done.  Sigh.

Fall, 2012 – I was doing a reading of “Hot Mama Mahatma” and invited everyone on my list, including one of those top people at Hay House.  She got back to me with accolades, telling me she had watched it, loved it, it was right on the money!  However, they had nowhere in their schedule to use it.  Sigh.  But she invited me as her guest to their Hay House event “Movers and Shakers”.  I had wanted that invite for a year…gratitude… Here it was.  I went, and there they invited us to submit a 7 minute video about our work, including any book proposals, etc. We had four months to submit it all.  Afterwards, they would confer two awards…either a webinar for Hay House or a brief radio show.  Since I was writing my memoir about this journey, I sent a 60 page book proposal plus the video.  At the end of the video, we had to put an action for our audience.  So, I chose this song, one that I wrote, after I met Louise Hay in person.   I call it my hip-hop haiku.

May 2013 – I received a phone call from Cheryl Richardson.  I had won the webinar!!!  Big Gratitude.

And now, here it is!  On July 24th, 2014…I will be doing my webinar, titled “Dancing With Desire”.  And this, amazingly, is how a desire unfolds.  It’s about noting the guideposts and acting on them and then…letting go of expectation!  That’s a biggie.  When I submitted all that material, I literally blew it out into the universe.  And where this is going?  Who knows?  But I’d like you to come for the ride, and we’ll find out.  So, sign up and join me!  It’s a one hour freebie.  It’s about living your dreams, since that’s my hope for you anyway! But as we live our dreams, we need some self-confidence to do it.  Hay House asked me to post the song on You Tube!  So, sing with me, click the link above the song, and feel free to forward this to any and all friends.

Your dreams are real.  The time is now.  The world is waiting…let’s make it happen!

 

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 

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From My Heart to Yours!

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Sometimes, when I’m really on my game, I write gratitude lists, but not enough.

Frequently, though, it hits me when I am just walking down the streets of New York City how blessed my life has been these past 10 years since I moved here, filled with miracles…so much growth, so much change, so much community, so much love.

What?  New York City?  Love?  Yep.  And no, I’m not talking about the hot boyfriend who cherishes my presence, although I’m working on that!  No, it’s love of a different source.  It’s love that comes from slowly allowing people into your life…lovely, supportive people. 

What I figured out on my intense spiritual journey post divorce was that I am an isolator, a loner.  Now, one would not know that because I have been an actress & singer my whole adult life, playing lead roles in front of thousands of people, and I was very involved in my communities in Portsmouth, NH.  But it was from a distance. 

I ran a soup kitchen, I led a youth group for my kids, I was president of a large community theatre group.  I was the very active chairperson on a prestigious local arts board.   And yes, it was leadership, but there can also be a separateness in that.  And there was.  Given my family of origin, I had learned methods to put defenses around me, to protect myself.

But as I got guided to move to NYC, something happened.  I connected with a spiritual center of very positive people, Unity of New York.  They became my landing space in New York, and the people there slowly helped me shape my new life.  Then I was introduced to a women’s group, Mama Gena’s.  Yes, I know it sounds like a pizza place!  Trust me, it was not about pizza, but it was about accepting our appetites…our desires to live more fully and sensually, and to support other women in doing the same.  And those women have taught me love, via acceptance.

It is a model that women all over the world need so desperately, and it’s felt like home because it is the philosophy I’ve been studying my whole life.  This one has an amazing community around it.   We show up for each other.  We help each other step out and expand our dreams.  And as I have taken this message further out into the world, via the shows I have created, the public speaking, the coaching I give to women, I have received such support, such appreciation, and it continues to open my heart.

Most important of all, I have learned the importance self-love, of people loving themselves, their bodies, their very divinity, which is essential for everything.

So, in gratitude, I invite you to sing with me the song I wrote, which I jokingly call my hip-hop haiku, then click the link to join me on my free webinar via Hay House, “Dancing With Desire” on Thursday, July 24th at noon.   It’s about stepping into your own dreams, and living out loud.

Come play! 

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 

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Stepping Out In A Fig Leaf!

Burlesque Photo 32  - 2012She said to me, “I have this vision that you are stepping out of the Garden of Eden, into the world, wearing nothing but a fig leaf!”  I paused, saw the image in my head, laughed out loud, and responded, “That’s exactly what it feels like.”

And no, I’m not running naked into the world.  However, I did pose in a burlesque costume in the book on “Fearless Women: Visions of A New World.”  I took that risk to make a point.  Through my coaching, my solo show, my cabaret show, there is one message…for women to dare to fall in love with their dreams, their desires, and yes their sensuality and their bodies.  Loving yourself, your entire self, is the key to creating a beautiful life.  I’m living proof.

I have over the years stepped out in a number of ways…always fully clothed.  But this one is bigger.  On Thursday, July 24th at noon, I will be doing a webinar for Hay House, titled “Dancing With Desire”.   How this happened is another blog story, as I continue to unwrap this unfolding process in the next few weeks, how this dream came into reality.

In case you do not know, Hay House is the largest spiritual publishing company in the world, started by Louise Hay and including Wayne Dyer, and so many others.  They’ve produced shows on PBS.  They also have a huge international media presence via webinars and radio programs.  And I won the opportunity to do one of their webinars!

Besides submitting a 60 page proposal, I had to send them a 7 minute video, telling my story and what I coach.  At the end of it, they wanted us to give the audience an action step, so I sang a song and invited everyone to sing along.   It was a lyric and tune I wrote the day after I met Louise Hay and she talked about the importance of loving yourself, your body and your divinity.   It just came out of me.  They got such a kick out of it, they asked me to post it on You Tube and spread the word.  I jokingly call it my hip hop haiku, titled, “Love Song to Myself”, which is intended for YOURSELF.

So please watch it, sing it, dance to it, share it with friends…then take it out for walk and jive with it down the street.  I dare you.

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 

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Desire Into Destiny

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She was twenty-nine years old.  We met to talk tech.  However, for me, talking techie is like talking a foreign language.  Since my family only spoke English, you get the picture.

That conversation lasted half an hour.  Then she asked me what I do.  I said, “I coach women to step into their dreams, their desires, into pleasure.  Her ears perked up. She was a trained actress, writer, working at a desk job, no relationship, wondering what was next.  We talked about that for 2.5 hours.  We decided to work together.  I would coach her.  She’d put me on the Internet.

At our first session, I posed that opening question, “What do you want?”  Her response was about the same as mine had been 12 years before, “Huh?”  So, she began her desire list.  Put it all down, about love, work, food, sex, anything.  That was the base from which we’d explore.

A few sessions later, I inquired, “Through all of this, what is primary for you?”  Her response, “I want to find my voice.”  YES!  She was not talking about singing opera, she was talking about that very essence that we all hunger for, to be courageous enough to speak her truth, to voice her desires and to step into them.   Ah, this was music to my ears.  This was my expertise.  Why?  Because I have spent my whole life learning to do that myself.   The universe then brought her new opportunities to practice.

During the holidays, she called me from the middle of the country in despair.”I have to move out of NY.  My job doesn’t pay me enough, I don’t want to move back home.  I’ll have to stay on my Auntie’s couch with the cat.”  Before I allowed her to become cat woman (not the kind in the picture), I asked:  “How much was she making?  How much did she want to make? How much did she need to stay in NY?”   Once we got clarity, I suggested a method of talking to her boss.  She spoke it, got the raise, the hours she wanted, and moved back to her apartment.

Next it was guys.  She hadn’t had a boyfriend in over 4 years, having exited from a frightening situation. I slowly guided her through initial dates, helping her get clarity on what she wanted and what she didn’t.  I led her to some safe sensuality classes to practice that new, stronger voice.  She did it, then entered a new relationship, navigating it beautifully, with honest communication.

The equally huge desire, though, was finding her purpose.  After college and living in NY for several years, she contemplated a move to LA, not really sure why except she had friends out there and would maybe audition.  As I queried further, this desire to “find her voice” went much deeper.  She wanted her point of view to be heard by the world.  Within two months, she applied to the top film schools in the country, made 2 terrific short films and was accepted into the best one in the country.  She is now heading into her second year, connected to her purpose.

Assisting her in unfolding her desires and stepping into them has been a joy.  She has been a most delightful and fun client to coach. Why?   Because we connected and she seized the opportunity.  And the way she has worked it makes me proud.

Being a part of this process to help people live bigger, more passionate lives is a great gift.  And I am grateful.

 

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 

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What Do You Want? (Part 3)

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The final installment in this series shows that in my case what I had been looking for had been there all along.  Do I hear a ruby slippers click?

Did you ever have something you loved as a kid?  A big plan for your very distant future that you dumped when you became a grown-up?

Well, not so fast, peeps…maybe you want to revisit that.

When I was a kid, I wrote a lot of poems.  They were simple poems for my mom, about trees, flowers or Mother’s Day.  They always rhymed.

When I got to high school English, I noticed something.   The poems did not rhyme.

Really serious poets would have none of that…e.e. Cummings or Emily Dickinson?  Pshaw!  So I tried writing like them.  Let’s just say that I didn’t wind up in the literature.  I gave it up.

I moved my creative talents to singing and acting.  As an adult, I was asked to sing at every family event.  I started taking familiar songs and writing personal parodies, which people loved.  Those rhymes would just pop out.

Then there arrived a desperate situation. It was my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary.  For weeks my sister and I wracked our brains to create the perfect speech.  Blank.  Three hours before the event, as we were chuckling about their lives, two opening lines came to me.  They rhymed.  I said, “I’m going to hide someplace quiet and see what comes.”  Three hours later, I delivered a funny epic poem that had my parents and their guests laughing out loud.  My Seuss Muse had come to the rescue.

Most recently, I created a show in New York City, “The Goddess Revue”, an evening of song, dance and burlesque, while actually telling a story.  Well, I had the song, the dance, the burlesque, but the story line kept stumping me.  Four days before we opened, I forced myself to the computer, staring at the screen.  Suddenly it came pouring out, in rhyme!  It became a Seussical type musical! No, not the Broadway one…yet. 🙂  But all three performances have played to full houses.  Who knew?

Here’s the thing.  Our dreams and desires are not just random.  They are planted by the divine to guide us.  They may show up differently than we expected.  They may catch us by surprise, but don’t write them off, write them down.

When you were a child

Your dreams could run wild

‘Til someone said, “It’s just a whim.”

But now, all grown up, you can peek

where they hide.

Go ahead, and invite them back in.

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 

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What Do You Want? (Part 2)

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As the story left off, I was beginning my whole new life NYC.  Before we skip to the end, there’s a whole lot of “how” in how I got there.

In 2001, as I was struggling through my very lonely marriage, I was advised to journal everyday.  Well, I would try it for awhile, but then I only really wrote when it was so bad I couldn’t stand it anymore.

After some time, if you read it, you would think I was ready to jump off a bridge.

Those thoughts, luckily, weren’t in my framework.  But in 2001, as I was in the midst divorce devastation, I went to a lecture by life coach, Cheryl Richardson.  She spoke eloquently about daily journaling.  Since my spiritual journey was deepening (that’s what divorce can do for you), I decided to really commit and try it.

I had some points of focus.  First, there was my spiritual coach, Irene, who kept giving me assignments like, write 101 “shoulds” in your life.  Then it was 101 desires, she said when I stopped “shoulding” all over myself, I could actually choose a life I desired!

She also gave me deep questions to write about my marriage.  I began to see how I had chosen my marriage mate, given my childhood in an alcoholic family.  I kept pondering the question, “How did I get myself into this mess?” Writing it all down was like unraveling a mystery.

Then there were the spiritual self-help books that she and my friend, Carrie, recommended.  These two weren’t fooling around.  These were not fluffy books. “Seat of the Soul” by Gary Zukav hit me between the eyes.  I would read a passage, it would trigger something that I had not seen before in myself, and I would be compelled to write.

An interesting thing started to emerge, besides tracing the trauma.  As I shared these epistles with Irene, she said, “You’re a writer.”  I had not known that.  As a little girl, I kept writing Dr. Seuss-like poems and my mom said, “One day you will be a writer.”  I didn’t buy it.  Writing rhymes was for kids.  No adult would do that.

Eventually, I discovered that both of them were right.   But that’s for a later blog.

Journaling became a huge part of my spiritual practice.  It revealed so much to me as I scribbled, uncensored, on those unlined pages.  I dumped my life on those pages, my tears, my joys, my desires.

It helped transform my life.  It is why I work with it all the time in my coaching practice.

Something to play with:

Shop for a journal, something that excites you to actually open the page, preferably with no lines so that you can scream through your scribble!   

Get a pen with ink that you love, then so for it.

 

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 

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What Do You Want? (Part 1 of 3)

karen red dressThis is first in a series of three episodes. Stay tuned!

Twelve years ago, in the midst of my divorce, my brilliant spiritual coach, Irene, asked me that question in the title. She was moving me toward my future, although I didn’t know that then.

So when she queried me, I believe my very cogent response was, “Huh?”

Two weeks prior, she asked for a list of all 101 “shoulds” in my life…I should be a good wife, good daughter, good mom, school volunteer, run a soup kitchen, work part time, have a successful theatre career…
That list was easy. I was as exhausted from writing it as I had been living it. Afterwards she said, ”You’ve lived your life taking care of others. Your kids are grown, you marriage is over. Now it’s about you. Go home. Get quiet. Then ask your soul, “What do you want?”

That list was harder. I didn’t know. I thought some brainstorming might be in order, so I asked my neighbor the same question. She burst into tears. Nobody had ever asked her that before. Me neither. Where to begin? In my journal I entered, “I want to belly dance.” What? Then another emerged, “I want romantic candles lighting my whole house.” Then a red dress showed up on the list.

This was odd, all these sensuous desires, or maybe not. I had existed in a 25 year empty marriage that was lonely and rejecting at every level. I hadn’t experienced an ounce of romance or sensuality. Everything had eventually shut down.

As I continued my assignment, though, other things started showing up. “I want to inspire women.” “I want to help change the world. I want to know my purpose. I want to know God.” Really? I would know the divine in a red dress and belly dancing? Ah yes, but more on that in later blogs!

I had no idea where this was going, but my intuition started to kick in. The guidance became very clear, and 2 years later, without any real estate agent, an apartment dropped in my lap in New York City and I began a whole new life, so big, so free and more creative than anything I could imagine.

These many years later, my purpose has become much clear – to inspire women into their dreams, their creativity, their own sensuality, their own greatness. That’s why I coach.

So my suggestion? Play with the question! What do you want?

Renaissance Women

Botticelli's Three Graces in Primavera

Botticelli’s Three Graces in Primavera

“You’re a Renaissance woman,” she said in amazement, “You really are.”  I graciously replied, “Thank you.”  I was able to accept that extraordinary compliment.  My ego definitely liked it a lot, but I had also learned years ago to accept compliments honestly given, not to deflect them…to own that maybe the speaker was right!

 She knows me as an actress, a singer, a writer, a producer and director of my own shows here in my adopted home of New York City.  She knows me as a mom with grown kids.  In my “day” job, I am a life coach, keynote speaker and also a consultant with a public speaking company. This day she was with me in a class, learning those skills.  So I could have stopped with the compliment, but instead turned the mirror back on her.

She too is a mom, a talented schoolteacher, a writer, a blogger who has channeled her divorce and her emergence from that into a positive spiritual experience for herself and her family.  She is growing into her new life in extraordinary ways.  When I brought that to her attention, she almost deflected her own compliment, but took a breath and took it in (I think).

Here’s the thing.  Women don’t take it in.  We’ve been taught to dim it down. “Quiet down, you’re too much.”  “Don’t get a big head.”  “Don’t be too smart…men don’t like women who are smarter than them.”  If you don’t believe it, just watch TV or movies, or read most magazines.  Or digest this oldie but goodie from my mom, “Don’t get too big for your britches.”  The saying may be bygone, the sentiment still lives.

So we’re careful to stay small, to not speak up, put our voices in the world or acknowledge how many “Renaissance Women” are among us.  It’s why, when I coach them, I turn the mirror back on them and we plumb the depths of who they are and what gifts they possess.  Another woman I coached yesterday is an energy healer who went back to school and got a Ph.D. in political science and wants to help women in the developing world, but instead of acknowledging all this, she defined herself as “scattered”.  That’s what she’s been told.  But it’s not the truth.  She just needs the encouragement to put it all together, because she can.

That’s what we women do.  We are multi-dimensional.  We explore many paths, but with encouragement, we can weave a tapestry that is extraordinary, not just for ourselves, but also for our careers and our world.  I have witnessed this transformation in hundreds of women.  It is possible.

Get a beautiful journal and a lovely pen.  Start writing all the things you’re good at and all of your accomplishments, however big or small.  Then read them over and start to imagine how they all tie together.

I am a “Renaissance Woman.”  So are all of you.  It’s time, ladies, to own it.

P.S.  Spring is a great time for transformation.  I’ve opened 10 free spots for an intro coaching session.  Click here to grab yours.

 

xo,

 karen_fitzgerald_signature

bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.

 

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