Desire Into Destiny


She was twenty-nine years old.  We met to talk tech.  However, for me, talking techie is like talking a foreign language.  Since my family only spoke English, you get the picture.

That conversation lasted half an hour.  Then she asked me what I do.  I said, “I coach women to step into their dreams, their desires, into pleasure.  Her ears perked up. She was a trained actress, writer, working at a desk job, no relationship, wondering what was next.  We talked about that for 2.5 hours.  We decided to work together.  I would coach her.  She’d put me on the Internet.

At our first session, I posed that opening question, “What do you want?”  Her response was about the same as mine had been 12 years before, “Huh?”  So, she began her desire list.  Put it all down, about love, work, food, sex, anything.  That was the base from which we’d explore.

A few sessions later, I inquired, “Through all of this, what is primary for you?”  Her response, “I want to find my voice.”  YES!  She was not talking about singing opera, she was talking about that very essence that we all hunger for, to be courageous enough to speak her truth, to voice her desires and to step into them.   Ah, this was music to my ears.  This was my expertise.  Why?  Because I have spent my whole life learning to do that myself.   The universe then brought her new opportunities to practice.

During the holidays, she called me from the middle of the country in despair.”I have to move out of NY.  My job doesn’t pay me enough, I don’t want to move back home.  I’ll have to stay on my Auntie’s couch with the cat.”  Before I allowed her to become cat woman (not the kind in the picture), I asked:  “How much was she making?  How much did she want to make? How much did she need to stay in NY?”   Once we got clarity, I suggested a method of talking to her boss.  She spoke it, got the raise, the hours she wanted, and moved back to her apartment.

Next it was guys.  She hadn’t had a boyfriend in over 4 years, having exited from a frightening situation. I slowly guided her through initial dates, helping her get clarity on what she wanted and what she didn’t.  I led her to some safe sensuality classes to practice that new, stronger voice.  She did it, then entered a new relationship, navigating it beautifully, with honest communication.

The equally huge desire, though, was finding her purpose.  After college and living in NY for several years, she contemplated a move to LA, not really sure why except she had friends out there and would maybe audition.  As I queried further, this desire to “find her voice” went much deeper.  She wanted her point of view to be heard by the world.  Within two months, she applied to the top film schools in the country, made 2 terrific short films and was accepted into the best one in the country.  She is now heading into her second year, connected to her purpose.

Assisting her in unfolding her desires and stepping into them has been a joy.  She has been a most delightful and fun client to coach. Why?   Because we connected and she seized the opportunity.  And the way she has worked it makes me proud.

Being a part of this process to help people live bigger, more passionate lives is a great gift.  And I am grateful.




bio2Karen Fitzgerald is a personal development coach and entrepreneur whose mission is to help guide top performing creative women make big changes in their life.  She is also a sought after public speaker, writer and performer and has written for the Huffington Post and has spoken at The Hay House.


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