Don’t Do, Just Be!


I don’t know about you, but I was raised to dust the furniture, dry the dishes, do dinner for everybody, and then and only then, do you do for you or not (mostly not, because by then you’re too doggedly drained).

And I did, for my spouse, my kids, my Mom, my Dad.  Then came the big “D” – Divorce.

For you, it may not be the big D, it might simply be the big C – Change!  Change of job, change of life, change of circumstance.  But the rest of the story still holds.

Suddenly, I couldn’t DO anymore.  My spirit said, “No, sweet cheeks, you are going to sit on your butt cheeks and just BE.”  Be!  How does one do that?  No clue.  But it became clear – journal, pray, cry, scream at the wind, get quiet, contemplate…and sleep.  Sleep?

Suddenly, I started sleeping more.  I had been a lousy sleeper my whole adult life and as I was releasing anxiety, I was sleeping.  And I was taking naps!  This was not from depression or avoidance (well, sometimes), but mostly from the need to rest.  We don’t rest in this culture.  We run.  We run to things, we run from things, but REST?

Or sometimes I would just sit and read.  Read?  The nag followed, “Get up off that couch and get busy.”

This was followed by GUILT.  My noisy brain shouted, “Karen, you should be doing something “meaningful”.  But my little foot stomping spirit said, “No.  This is meaningful.  I’m sleeping.  Leave me alone…and don’t set the alarm clock!  I’m taking care of myself.  I’m making the rules now.  You be QUIET!”

So, I started making my own rules.  And I got good at it.  I started being who I wanted to be, not doing for anyone else.

I eventually got back to doing, when the time was right, but I discovered something.  When I allow myself to BE, to be gentle with myself and do self-care, then I find out what to DO.   It’s that intuition thing.  It works.  And it’s lots more fun.


  • Do tell the guilt to go take a hike.
  • Definitely sleep.
  • Do take time for yourself…maybe even in nature.


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